The simple truth is that my brain is not wired to accept someone�s attraction. It unsettles me. It spins the world on a different axis. I think stupid things that people shouldn�t think.
Do I even like this person that way? If I started something and then realized I didn�t feel anything, how uncomfortable would that become? Where would this take me? How long would this last? What if I met someone else? How could I break up with this person if I had feelings for another girl?
The word is out that someone likes me and I�m already dissecting the potential methods of breaking up with her.
Like I said, I�m retarded...but at least I�m aware of it.
This sort of panic is my mind�s clever way of keeping me alone for the rest of my life. It�s the deep internal loathing that attracts me to unobtainable women and ushers me away from healthy potential. You psyche students out there have a name for it and a small list of potential causes.
Mine�s on that list somewhere.
Sure I�m crazy, but I know exactly what kind of crazy I am, and that puts me one step ahead of the self-oblivious people who haven�t even noticed their insanity yet.
