I�m having a bit of a hair crisis. Not so much of a crisis, maybe it�s just a slight disagreement...like that whole Arab/Israeli thing.

Sometimes it pleases me, this doo of mine. Other times it�s a train wreck. It is largely inconsistent in it�s visual appeal, but it is constantly terrible in the morning.

I would like to have a haircut that looks fantastic in the morning, but I do not know how one gets that, and in my experience...hairdressers are never bold or artistic enough to give any sort of helpful suggestions. I want someone to tell me what my hair should look like and then cut it so it looks that way. I don�t want to tell the mechanic how to repair my engine...I just want my car to work.

My hair is already at a disadvantage because it has to perk up a bland and oversized cranium/face combination, not an easy task for any accessory. Perhaps a simple bow would liven me up.

I understand that there are certain standards of face/head/hair combination, I just don�t know what those standards are, and thus I am constantly flip-flopping on my hairstyle...or lack thereof.

Right now, it�s a longish over-the-ear Midwestern thing that could almost be indy-rock or brit-pop...

almost.

Usually it just looks terrible, or on my good days, it resembles one of the members of Destiny�s Child. You know the one, her hair flips out at the ends...not exactly the most flattering haircut for a boy, but it�s got some "fashion helpless" charm to it.

I�m tempted to get my scissors and hack at it until it�s short and messy again, but I fear that would make me look like every other jerk in New York. I�m already quite average in appearance. Perhaps my propensity to cut my own hair is one of the factors in it�s unappealing appearance.

I ask women what they like in boys hair, and no one seems to have any kind of answer. "it all depends" and "long...and short" are the most common responses.

I�d like to think that if I could just get my hair together, the rest of my life would fall into place. I know that nothing happens like that, but a small suspension of disbelief is necessary for survival these days.

One of these days it�s going to happen. I�m going to get fed up and start hacking. It might not look better, but it will defiantly look different, and maybe that�s enough.