You see, I have this love/hate relationship with the world, and moreover, with life in general. Perhaps everyone has this relationship, but I am permitted only one true perspective, and thus mine is intrinsically linked to my experience.

Sometimes I wake up and wish I didn�t. Sometimes I breathe and wish I didn�t, and sometimes I think and wish I wasn�t capable. You want truth? You want the god�s honest truth?

Living sucks.

Existing is more trouble then its� worth because it�s inherently linked to a struggle, and no struggle is without casualty. I�m sure there�s some fuckers out there in the audience that attribute the loss of casualties to a wage of war, but the battlefield is defined only in casualties, not victories.

What price did you pay for your innocence?

What price did your pay for your principals?

At what cost did your subjugation come?

Sometimes I fool myself into thinking that things are universal. Sometimes I trick myself into thinking that my little thoughts, that my little ideas might provide clarity into someone else's similar life...but even if that were true, what life is ever similar?

What salve is my philosophy to a starving child in Namibia? What good is my social scale to a junkie in Prague?

The truth is that the world's opportunity, it's majesty and its scope is self-defined, and that's more responsibility then any mortal should ever bear. We limit and encourage ourselves in ways beyond the scope of external stimulus. We suppress and express the truth in ways far more grand then reality permits.

The inherent self-destruction native to every human is reason enough to hate existence, never mind the responsibility of defining one's own trajectory.

The truth is that I am a lost object. I am a test rocket, spinning out into nothingness. I am some nation's forgotten space program raining down in the atmosphere.

I am the sparks of self-disregard. I am the streaks of self-hatred, the tumble of self-loathing and the glory of self-appreciation all rolled up into one body, into one experience.

Sometimes I think I care about everyone too much, but maybe I don't give a shit about anyone. And disregarding serial killers and sociopaths, that's a big thing to say with meaning. Do you think the Pope is genuinely concerned about converting Catholics to his cause? Do you think the Dali Lama is preoccupied with gaining the love and trust of Buddhists?

The pedigree of divinity is secured. Religion has its fan base, and attrition is roughly equal to expansion, so what�s the glory in conversion?

Perhaps if I don't give a shit about you, yet I still hope to acquire your hearts or your minds...

then perhaps there's more hope for the soulless then for the divine.