Me and Hedwig are going to try and get some free legal advice today.

Not the real Hedwig, the one in my CD player.

There's something so despicable about your former landlord using the world trade center as an excuse for non-payment of your oppressively large security deposit. Not that I expected any sort of class from a guy who once told me "Well, once a part of town goes white, it's a good investment. It never goes black again."

I just want to get a feel of the state laws regarding security returns, and then I'll feel comfortable enough to shove my Fleuvog up his ass.