too lame to get on, too boring to get kicked off 06.20.01 - 11:48 pm
I could never make it onto the Real World series, and here are my reasons why I believe this to be so...
First off, I�m too old. I am fast approaching twenty-five, which seems to be the general cut-off point for all things MTV. This might be a mistake, because I think the show dynamics might seriously benefit from some geriatric content here and there. Ruthie�s drinking problem would be far more interesting when contrasted against Clyde�s colostomy bag explosion.
Second: I�m far too ugly. Bear with me...
According to my calculations, �the Real World� casts attractive and unattractive people at a ratio of approximately 12 to 1. The LA and San Francisco seasons really throw the curve towards blah, but recent years have certainly made up for that by stacking the deck with hotties. (The New Orleans cast in particular)
To break down the attractive category even further, the ratio of hot people to generally average (but cute) is approximately 2 to 1. Overall, those are damn good odds for a potential dating pool, and in my experience, odds like that really only exist in Soho, Paris, and certain parts of the Williamsburg section of Brooklyn.
Of course, my Jedi mind-tricks are rendered useless around large concentrations of attractive people, so I am not able to capitalize on my proximity to hottievilles.
I�m darn average compared to these people. Let�s not split hairs, I�m plain ugly compared to most of these people. I�m fine with that, but seeing as how I consider myself perfectly average...the "Real World" does not seem like a very accurate sampling of the population at large, and isn�t that what we all demand of MTV?
Perfect accuracy!?!
The second thing I�ve noticed in my brief time watching MTV, is that I have a tremendous crush on Serena Altschul. She�s not typically what I�d be attracted to, being blonde and sternly Germanic, but something about her is highly alluring. She�s got some serious "best friends hot older sister" qualities there.
But what do you expect? I get crushes every where I go...
Speaking of crushing...my friend Mr. Ladybug is back and walking across the monitor. This is the second night in a row he�s done that.
