This creek is moving with such deliberate force, and I seem to have misplaced my paddle.

I'm applying for jobs at the rate of about eight a week. The only one that's responded is a crappy $10 an hour position that I'm vastly overqualified for.

I don't like that I have to bust my ass and fight to try and get a $10/hour job that I'm vastly overqualified for. They should be begging me to take it from them, they should be offering me cookies and lemonade when I walk in the door.

They told me that they'd have a decision by Friday. I gave up and called them at about 3:30 yesterday only to learn that the hiring would be delayed for at least another two weeks.

Our landlord talked me into trying to find new roommates and share the house. I started putting ads out and then I called him to ask him what our rent would be if I would be able to stay.

He graciously stated that he would not raise it any more then what he's advertised the place for.

Still, that's nearly three hundred dollars more per month then we're paying now. I haven't felt more insulted in recent memory.

I suppose none of it matters anyway, there's a group of girls coming to see the house tonight. They claim that our landlord's already offered the place to them.

I don't see any possible way for me to stay in New York now. I also don't see any possible way for me to mentally survive back home.

My life is a house of cards and the deck seems to be stacked against me. Why does everyone insist on trying to blow me down?