It�s all about validation, isn�t it? Even when it comes two years later, it still feels good.
So I was watching Oprah. And if that isn�t enough to reduce my manhood in your eyes: I was only watching because Dr. Phil was on.
Anyway, the question arose regarding marriage finances and individual versus joint-checking accounts.
I was suddenly thrown head-first into a flashback from my previous relationship. A nightmare recollection of a car ride back from somewhere in Long Island...as that journey turned into a Pearl Harbor of personal assault.
At some point, I made the egregious mistake of expressing my opinion that "sometimes individual checking accounts are good for a relationship". This caused my love-at-the-time to launch into a bitter napalm-fueled tirade against me, berating me for even thinking such a horrible thing. She fired salvo after salvo of "it�s about trust" and "that�s the stupidest thing I�ve ever heard".
Bwuah?
I could go into vast detail about how shitty she was with money - the random spending sprees, the endless debt, the loans from her parents, the loans she was hiding from her parents...
...but none of that matters. I don�t think she even cared about the issue. She just wanted a reason to fight and a reason to punish me. And so she marched me right in front of her verbal firing squad and gave the order.
*For those of you keeping track, this would be one of the many nights that she sentenced me to sleep on the couch until she got lonely enough to wake me up and bring me back to bed.
Being used is still better then being nothing.
So, the question was posed: "What works better in a marriage, individual or joint-checking accounts?"
Dr. Phil replied that his accountant has never seen one successful marriage with a joint-checking account. Not one single successful marriage with a joint-checking account.
I wanted to turn to her and stuff that right in her face. I wanted to lash out and tell her what a tremendous bitch she was for even having that argument with me. I wanted to make her eat her words and apologize for taking out all her frustrations on me. I wanted her to know exactly how shitty she made me feel about myself.
